Feeling her move!

On the way to Canada in the car...she (no name yet) kicked me! It was the weirdest thing I felt. In fact I only can guess that's what it was, it startled me. But awesome none the less. Since then I can feel her move just not all the time. I can't describe it. Popcorn and butterflies are some of the ways I have read but I don't know it that's what I would call it. I hope she starts kicking more often!

OMG....It's a Girl!

December 16th Jatovi, Molly Brown and I left for Canada. The week of torture was finally coming to an end.And it was torture I tell ypu. I had the u/s tech offer to look at work, but I did the right thing and said no. I really wanted to find out with Jatovi. And I still felt that I was only going to hear what I already new...it was a boy! We stopped and picked up Jeff, Connie and Kayla on the way and we were off. As usual Jeff and I fought the whole way to Fergus. The GPS took us a different way then we were use to and he was mad at me about it. But what else is new. Once we made it to mom and Dad's house I was tired and and irritated because of the long drive and fighting with Jeff. We went into the house and there was nothing to show us the sex...I thought that was the plan? A sign "it's a boy" or something. But Mom just asked Jatovi for the envelope, we sat on the couch and opened it. I had it in my hand and pulled the ultrasound picture out first...and it was obvious...IT's a Girl!! Legs wide open and 3 bright lines! My parents were jumping around laughing and thinking this was the greatest thing ever. I was in shock. I tried to put my fears behind me and open smile but it was really hard. My mom then pulled out the pink booties and hung them all over the tree. The pink stuff was coming out of everywhere. She started handing me gifts and I opened them, still in shock. Clothes, baby monitor, diaper genie, and bath stuff. It was all awesome and much needed. She will be one well dressed little girl!
So why was I so in shock. Well as I have stated many times, I thought it was a boy. I was sure it was a boy. I haven't really been sick, just hungry. I had read that was more common with boys. And even more...I am terrified to have a girl! Yup that's right terrified! Mothers and Daughters on my side of the family don't get along so well. My mom has always been treated like crap from her mother. That is my opinion of it, but either way they are not close. My mom and I are really close...NOW! It took along time with alot of problems along the way. I think we are both very similar and this has lend to many fights and differences over the years. What can I do to make my relationship better with my daughter? I don't know. I am hoping she is more like her father, then we will be best friends. I hear all the girls talk about there great relationships with there mom's and I really want that for us. But we are many years away from that...mothering will come first. SO at this point I am trying to put my fears behind me and enjoy the fact that we are going to have a daughter!

December 9, 2009

We had our ultrasound today. The baby looks good, and they feel everything is were it should be and nothing is wrong. Because of my age we were offered a amnio but we have chosen not to have one. Once again the baby did not want to cooperate, which is getting funny at this point. The baby wouldn't let them see his heart. But after awhile they got the pictures they needed. SO the babies sex....Jatovi wanted to play games. So the plan was to have the tech write the sex down, put it in an envelope. Once that was done we went to Grandma Nora's school and she opened the envelope and looked. We then left ...still not knowing! She then called Grandma Annette and told her. They were both every happy and giggly in fact. It was nice to see them so happy, but I sure wasn't. We would not know for 8days. We would find out with my family the next week when we got home for Christmas.It was sure going to be along week....

I saw the baby today!

Yup, I saw the baby today. My friend Susannah Grant works at a clinic and preforms ultrasounds. So I was lucky that she allowed me to come in just to have a look. And I am so very glad I did. It was awesome to see him(yes I still think it's a boy) with a friend, in a nice calm setting. He was moving all around, we saw him sucking his fingers, and flipping upside down. His heart rate was 153, and we could see it beating. Before I left Jatovi kept saying "tell the lady we don't want to know the sex", well it appears that he listens to his Dad. The whole time he was in a position that even if we wanted to know, we would not be able to see. Most of the time his legs were crossed, so cute! He is growing so fast the difference even since 12weeks it amazing. It brought tears to my eyes watching him, especially when he started to suck his finger. We could see his mouth moving, it makes me realize just how real he is. I haven't felt him move yet, which seems weird because I could see him kicking me! So to see this moving, sucking, kicking little person inside me is just amazing. I am so lucky!
I am still a little nervous about the ultrasound next week because they can still find something wrong. But I do feel reassured because his head is measuring right on, he is swallowing and moving so things look okay.
One last thing, I have been feeling worse these days! Still not as bad as some have it, just I thought it should all be over by now. I was so sick on saturday, poor Jatovi he keeps having to clean up bigger and bigger messes.He is such a good husband. I am really really lucky to have him.

Crying...

I cry all the time! I cry when I am happy, sad, lonely, scared, watching TV, listening to music...all the time. Most times I am crying and laughing at the same time because I know I have no reason to cry. It is so weird. MB thinks I am crazy because she is always trying to make me feel better, then I start laughing so hard I am afraid I am going to pee myself. It seems to have gotten worse in the past week. Thankfully Jatovi and the animals are the only ones to experience this yet, it will be very embarrassing at work. Jatovi doesn't know if he should try to comfort me or laugh with me. In fact it has started to happen so much after a brief second to ensure nothing serious is wrong he goes straight into laughing him self.
Wow pregnancy hormones are at work this week!

The End Of the First Trimester

So I am 14 weeks now, and happy to be done with the first trimester. I feel really lucky I only had a few days were I felt sick. I have heard of many people sick everyday.....glad that wasn't me. I have been tired and really hungry mostly. This week I was sick for the first and only time thus far. It was before work and I missed the toilet so poor Jatovi had to clean it up :(. I hope the worst is over, my energy is differently coming back but I am still hungry.
We have had 3 ultrasounds so far. One at 7 weeks just to confirm the pregnancy. It was a small dot on the screen but it had a heart beat. At 10 weeks I cheated and had a look at work. That was great Misty Lyon also saw him( yes him...I am sure it is a boy) I could see the baby moving and the heart pumping. AT 12 weeks was the best one yet. He was pretty big, and moving all over the place. The purpose was to measure the back of his neck to complete first trimester screening for Trisomy 21,18 and 13. Well he would not behave.I was there an hour and a half and she almost didn't get the measurement. But he eventually moved into the correct position and she got it. The tests showed very little chance of having a baby with Trimosy 21,13, or 18. I have heard his heart beat as well at my doctors appointments. That is so weird for me. After working with pregnant woman for over 10 years I can hardly believe that that sound is coming from me. I wish I could listen to it for days, it is the best sound I have ever heard. Jatovi remains quiet about the process. He comes to my appointments but doesn't say much. But I know he is exited because I came home from work last week and he started to "baby proof" the house....really I was 13 weeks it was a little early! But that is his way and I thought it was cute.
Lets hope the second trimester goes as well!

The Big News

So the big news came on August 23 2009. We "planned" this pregnancy so I was waiting for the day I could take a test. In fact I took one far to early and it was negative. I couldn't believe how sad it was to have a negative test when I was so sure it should be positive. I couldn't help think of the the poor couples that went through that month after month. SO Saturday morning Jatovi and I went about our usual plans. We went for our lunch in the park and let Molly-Brown run. On the way home I thought it is time to test again, I just didn't believe the first test. So as soon as we got home I went to CVS and bought a test. I took the test, and it was positive!! I had the kind that gave you a + or - sign, so I felt I needed a digital one. So off to CVS I went again, and bought 3 more. I was at CVS twice in less than 30 minutes. I took all 3 and they all said "pregnant"!! All Jatovi said was"I told you".His reaction was not a jump up and down with excitement type, but really he doesn't get that happy about anything. We then called both of our parents. Mine first and boy they were happy. I took a picture of all the tests and sent it to my mom, but it didn't go through so I had to just tell her. Jatovi gets his calm personality from his mom, so her reaction was low key compared to my parents. But needless to say they were all happy for us.
Really I think I was in shock....me a mom? I don't know if this is a good thing. Jatovi will make a wonderful Father but I am not so sure I will do a good job. I just hope we can balance each other.

History

Well here it goes.....

As mentioned I am a Canadian girl that lives in North Carolina. I moved here in February 2001 for an "adventure". Well I got more than I bargained for...I fell in love!! That's when my life and where I thought it was going changed for ever. There was a time that the though of living here for the rest of my life brought tears to my eyes. You see that's not in the plan. I am a planner and I had not seen this one coming. " Me living in the US" yeah that's not gonna work! Well 8 years later I am still here. Do I still struggle with this...absolutely! But the tears come less often and I do love my life here. My heart will always be in Canada and maybe one day I will move back. You may wonder why we haven't moved back well it's that pros/cons thing. It really does make sense at this point in our life to stay put.

Jatovi and I met in October 2001. We clicked from the beginning. Which is so weird because the night we met ( at a bar) I had had so much to drink I didn't really remember meeting him. Well later that week when he called I was shocked. Well we went out for potato soup that Friday and have been together since. It took us 5 years to finally get married on October 7, 2006.

We have a big family already Jack, Zora, Butter, and our sweet girl Molly Brown. But the best is yet to come ......Baby McDuffie!!