OMG....It's a Girl!

December 16th Jatovi, Molly Brown and I left for Canada. The week of torture was finally coming to an end.And it was torture I tell ypu. I had the u/s tech offer to look at work, but I did the right thing and said no. I really wanted to find out with Jatovi. And I still felt that I was only going to hear what I already new...it was a boy! We stopped and picked up Jeff, Connie and Kayla on the way and we were off. As usual Jeff and I fought the whole way to Fergus. The GPS took us a different way then we were use to and he was mad at me about it. But what else is new. Once we made it to mom and Dad's house I was tired and and irritated because of the long drive and fighting with Jeff. We went into the house and there was nothing to show us the sex...I thought that was the plan? A sign "it's a boy" or something. But Mom just asked Jatovi for the envelope, we sat on the couch and opened it. I had it in my hand and pulled the ultrasound picture out first...and it was obvious...IT's a Girl!! Legs wide open and 3 bright lines! My parents were jumping around laughing and thinking this was the greatest thing ever. I was in shock. I tried to put my fears behind me and open smile but it was really hard. My mom then pulled out the pink booties and hung them all over the tree. The pink stuff was coming out of everywhere. She started handing me gifts and I opened them, still in shock. Clothes, baby monitor, diaper genie, and bath stuff. It was all awesome and much needed. She will be one well dressed little girl!
So why was I so in shock. Well as I have stated many times, I thought it was a boy. I was sure it was a boy. I haven't really been sick, just hungry. I had read that was more common with boys. And even more...I am terrified to have a girl! Yup that's right terrified! Mothers and Daughters on my side of the family don't get along so well. My mom has always been treated like crap from her mother. That is my opinion of it, but either way they are not close. My mom and I are really close...NOW! It took along time with alot of problems along the way. I think we are both very similar and this has lend to many fights and differences over the years. What can I do to make my relationship better with my daughter? I don't know. I am hoping she is more like her father, then we will be best friends. I hear all the girls talk about there great relationships with there mom's and I really want that for us. But we are many years away from that...mothering will come first. SO at this point I am trying to put my fears behind me and enjoy the fact that we are going to have a daughter!