Layla made it to 11 months...alive and well! After her trip to the ER I am not sure I will ever be the same. But Layla doesn't seem to even remember it...thank goodness! This month has been a lot of fun. Layla has learned to clap her hands, she points at things, she can climb up the stairs( but clearly we need to work on how she goes down them)and she dances! Layla loves to dance...play any music and she starts a bouncing. This is not new but we sure play music for her every day now. Jatovi dances with her when they are alone, but I as not privileged to see it. It really is the cutest thing in the world. Her schedule hasn't really changed since we moved her bedtime to 7:30. She will then sleep at least 12 hrs. She eats around 8 and still needs her morning nap. She sleeps from about 1000 until 1130. Then it's play time(often with her friends at the YMCA) and lunch around 1. Nap again from 2-4, with dinner at 5. Layla drinks her 3 bottles a day before her naps. Layla enjoys eating....something she got from me I am sure. For the most part any fruit or vegetable will work. Meats she still doesn't love but will eat a little bit with eat meal. We are completely away from baby food, big girl likes to feed her self...and Molly Brown. Molly Brown and her have become quite close, bonding over their love of food. Now that Layla is mobile they often play together. It is so much fun to watch even though I am not sure either is completely aware of what the other one wants. Molly will have a toy in her mouth and jump around and play...Layla tries to get the toy. Molly loves it and runs around, Layla just loves her reaction. I am glad they play well together, Molly has been so important to us for so long. She seems every excited to see her these days as well. She has always slept outside her room and been the first one in when she wakes up. But now it doesn't seem out of concern rather out of excitement to see her.
Layla seems to be starting to have words we all understand. She clearly says "mom" and "Dada". However she uses mom for many things, really anything she needs or wants. Grannie says she says "bird" all the time at her house. I really didn't believe her but she put me on speaker phone and I did hear her say it plain as day, but only that once. We are working on "more" and "up" at this point as well. It will be crazy when see can talk because she sure seems like she has a lot to say.
Layla has even more hair these days but not enough to do anything with. Her size has not changed although I have just bought her 18month clothes for the summer. Everyone said when she started to crawl she would slim down, and her length has grown but carrying her she still seems pretty heavy to me.
What I want to remember from this month it how beautiful her giggle was the first time I heard it after she fell. It brought tears to my eyes because all I could think was what if I never got to hear it again?
Layla Katherine you have made me love you so deeply it hurts....so please don't scare me again!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
1st birthday card
Baby Bloom Collage Birthday
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The worst day of my life.
I wasn't even sure I was going to write about it. In fact I planned to try to pretend it never happened. But I am writing this for Layla to read in years to come, so I guess it should include everything...not just the good parts.
Yesterday morning we woke up to warm weather and I had a bit of spring fever. I began collecting all of Laylas summer/spring clothes from the closet that her Grandparents had bought least year. I was planning on washing them, and Grannie had bought her a outfit on the weekend and it was still down stairs. I carried Layla down and grab the outfit...we walked back up stairs and we went into her room. I sat her down and started to take the tags off her outfit and I heard it. The unmistakable thumping of something or should I say some one falling down the stairs. The next hour is kinda a blurr...but what I do remember is screaming louder than I had ever have before while running down the stairs. She was lying there at the bottom....I think she was crying. I grabbed her and ran back upstairs to my phone and called Jatovi. He had left only a few minutes before so I knew he was close. I don't remember what I was saying or how I was saying it but he couldn't understand me and kept saying "what". Some how I got it through to him that he needed to come home. I then remember running around trying to find clothes to wear since I was still in my pj's. Jatovi was then there and I handed her to him and he took her to the car while I got dressed. I can't tell you what Layla was doing, I have no idea. The ride to Duke was the longest of my life. Layla was awake but kept falling asleep. It was her nap time but I was sure this was because of her "head injury". I kept calling her name and clapping my hands to keep her awake. She would cry when I startled her but what I was seeing was my child hurt probably beyond repair. I called Janet since she has worked in the ER before. She asked my alot of questions and reassured me that she has seem many children fall down the stairs and be fine.
After driving all the way to Duke yelling at poor Jatovi to drive faster...we arrived. I grab Layla out of the car seat and ran in. I ran right through the metal detector....the security guard could tell by my face I wasn't going to stop. He took my purse and let me go. I guess he gave it back at some point since I have it. As I ran up to the triage desk there were about 5 people sitting there, I said my daughter fell down the stairs. At that point the flood gate opened and I started to cry so hard I could barley breath. It was then that the people behind the desk all lite up with smiles...and handed me Kleenex. I wanted to throw the box at them...Layla was dying and they are smiling. Why hadn't they grab her from me and ran her to an exam room. I finally looked down at her and she had the biggest smile on her face! REALLY...REALLY could it be true? Is it possible to fall down 100 (at least that's how many I was seeing at the time) stairs and be ok? Even though she was smiling I was still crying and crying hard. I really should be embarrassed but I have never been so scared in my life. The nurses kept saying"What a cute baby...she seems to be doing better than her mom!" Layla was smiling and talking to them...me still crying. They got us checked in and took us right back. Thank god we didn't have to sit in the waiting room because I am sure I would have had a stroke. They took her vital signs HR 121 sat's 96%...ok this looks good. Jatovi was still parking the car, and it seemed like he was gone forever. But the nurses kept telling me shed looked good and all signs pointed to the fact that she was fine. Jatovi arrived and we sat and waited for the doctor to arrive. I don't think I was still crying but I can't be sure. Layla was sitting on his lap, talking playing and looking around. I think I started to calm down about this time. The resident arrived and did his exam. He talked to her looked in her ears and eyes, listened to her. The whole time Layla was laughing at him, smiling, playing with his ID card. I really wanted a CT scan but with her acting like this he didn't want to do one. And I have to admit I still wanted one how ever I already new I was going to lose this fight. He said the plan was to have her eat something and watch her for a bit and see if she remands this good, and the attending would also be coming in. Layla sat and ate cheerios and played. We were close to the nurses station so there were plenty of people for her to talk to and wave at. None of this behaviour help in my mission for a CT scan.
The attending came in and did the same exam and said he really didn't think a scan was necessary. Could I see any change in her behaviour? Well no I couldn't so I didn't seem to have a chance. We waited alittle over an hour and the whole time she waved and talked and played. She ate plenty of cheerios and kept them down. The attending came back and said she was free to go!
During this hour I called my mom and cried and cried talking to her again. Why can't she live closer?
Layla seems just fine in fact I am not sure she even remembers it. I on the other hand may never forget it. Jatovi always bugs me saying I want her to live in a bubble....if he thought that before he ain't seen nothing yet!
Yesterday morning we woke up to warm weather and I had a bit of spring fever. I began collecting all of Laylas summer/spring clothes from the closet that her Grandparents had bought least year. I was planning on washing them, and Grannie had bought her a outfit on the weekend and it was still down stairs. I carried Layla down and grab the outfit...we walked back up stairs and we went into her room. I sat her down and started to take the tags off her outfit and I heard it. The unmistakable thumping of something or should I say some one falling down the stairs. The next hour is kinda a blurr...but what I do remember is screaming louder than I had ever have before while running down the stairs. She was lying there at the bottom....I think she was crying. I grabbed her and ran back upstairs to my phone and called Jatovi. He had left only a few minutes before so I knew he was close. I don't remember what I was saying or how I was saying it but he couldn't understand me and kept saying "what". Some how I got it through to him that he needed to come home. I then remember running around trying to find clothes to wear since I was still in my pj's. Jatovi was then there and I handed her to him and he took her to the car while I got dressed. I can't tell you what Layla was doing, I have no idea. The ride to Duke was the longest of my life. Layla was awake but kept falling asleep. It was her nap time but I was sure this was because of her "head injury". I kept calling her name and clapping my hands to keep her awake. She would cry when I startled her but what I was seeing was my child hurt probably beyond repair. I called Janet since she has worked in the ER before. She asked my alot of questions and reassured me that she has seem many children fall down the stairs and be fine.
After driving all the way to Duke yelling at poor Jatovi to drive faster...we arrived. I grab Layla out of the car seat and ran in. I ran right through the metal detector....the security guard could tell by my face I wasn't going to stop. He took my purse and let me go. I guess he gave it back at some point since I have it. As I ran up to the triage desk there were about 5 people sitting there, I said my daughter fell down the stairs. At that point the flood gate opened and I started to cry so hard I could barley breath. It was then that the people behind the desk all lite up with smiles...and handed me Kleenex. I wanted to throw the box at them...Layla was dying and they are smiling. Why hadn't they grab her from me and ran her to an exam room. I finally looked down at her and she had the biggest smile on her face! REALLY...REALLY could it be true? Is it possible to fall down 100 (at least that's how many I was seeing at the time) stairs and be ok? Even though she was smiling I was still crying and crying hard. I really should be embarrassed but I have never been so scared in my life. The nurses kept saying"What a cute baby...she seems to be doing better than her mom!" Layla was smiling and talking to them...me still crying. They got us checked in and took us right back. Thank god we didn't have to sit in the waiting room because I am sure I would have had a stroke. They took her vital signs HR 121 sat's 96%...ok this looks good. Jatovi was still parking the car, and it seemed like he was gone forever. But the nurses kept telling me shed looked good and all signs pointed to the fact that she was fine. Jatovi arrived and we sat and waited for the doctor to arrive. I don't think I was still crying but I can't be sure. Layla was sitting on his lap, talking playing and looking around. I think I started to calm down about this time. The resident arrived and did his exam. He talked to her looked in her ears and eyes, listened to her. The whole time Layla was laughing at him, smiling, playing with his ID card. I really wanted a CT scan but with her acting like this he didn't want to do one. And I have to admit I still wanted one how ever I already new I was going to lose this fight. He said the plan was to have her eat something and watch her for a bit and see if she remands this good, and the attending would also be coming in. Layla sat and ate cheerios and played. We were close to the nurses station so there were plenty of people for her to talk to and wave at. None of this behaviour help in my mission for a CT scan.
The attending came in and did the same exam and said he really didn't think a scan was necessary. Could I see any change in her behaviour? Well no I couldn't so I didn't seem to have a chance. We waited alittle over an hour and the whole time she waved and talked and played. She ate plenty of cheerios and kept them down. The attending came back and said she was free to go!
During this hour I called my mom and cried and cried talking to her again. Why can't she live closer?
Layla seems just fine in fact I am not sure she even remembers it. I on the other hand may never forget it. Jatovi always bugs me saying I want her to live in a bubble....if he thought that before he ain't seen nothing yet!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
What a week part 2!
A first for my girl.....she can clap her hands!
Eating Kraft dinner for the first time....yay my Canadian girl!
While at Grammies Layla had some "firsts". Like learning to climb stairs. She had climb one or two before but she started going up and just didn't stop. The ironic part about this was Molly Brown also learned to climb stair at their house. As a puppy we had been carring her up for months, I loved it. It made me fell like she was a baby, but on vaction once she ran up their stairs and hasn't stopped since. I guess Layla is growing up!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
What a week!
This last week has been wonderful, challenging, and thought provoking . On March 10 Layla and I headed North again to see Grammie and Papa. One of my oldest and dearest friends was getting married so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to go "home". Our plane left at 0700 that meant up at 5am for both of us. Layla did very well being woken up and dragged from airport to airport. The first plane she played and talked and wore me out but the second one she slept. It was nice to have her cuddled up on me for an hour. When we arrived in buffalo our car seat was still in Chicago. Southwest gave us a loaner seat how ever it was older and I had no idea how to use it. I got to the rental car place and almost had a meltdown because I had no idea how to put it in. After trying and trying I got it in although I could tell not the correct way. This made driving a car I wasn't use to, in a city I was not use to very stressful! I planned to stop and try to work with it again, however Layla fell right to sleep. So I started driving to my parents. When she woke up about half way there I stopped and played around with it again. I still could not figure it out...so I turned her forward facing! That seemed to be the safest way...at least the car seat would stay in position if we were hit. And lets face it Layla hit the 20lb mark months ago so we are just waiting on her birthday. Although I still feel like this was the best decision it makes me sick thinking about the "what ifs". If we had been in accident I would never had forgiven myself...thankfully we weren't.
Once we arrived safely we had a great 5 days. We dressed Layla in her snow suit a couple of times and took her for a slay ride. I will admit we didn't go far because it was really cold for me! At first she didn't seem to care about it...just kinda sat there. But once we let her out of the sled she crawled around and that she seemed to like more. The second time she went out was a bit better but she is a southern girl at heart the snow suit is really just to much for her. I can't wait to take her home in the years to come and she can go slidding down all of the hills we used to as kids.
Uncle Corb also stopped by for the night...I think he wasn't quite sure what to do with her this time. She doesn't talk in words and can't walk yet so he seemed confused on how to interact with her. Although he did like to practise walking with her.
I went to Reem's wedding leaving Grammie and Papa(that was his name this trip...I guess we will have to see what Layla ends up calling him) to babysit. They were thrilled to have her all to them selves. Aunt Mandy was also down for the night and she used makeup and put on earrings. Jatovi still won't let them peirce her ears so they needed to improvise. Aunt Many took me when I was 6 months old so they are waiting to do Laylas.
On monday after noon we went to see Tara. After only being there about 2 minutes her 7 years old son Caleb said "Does she live with you" Me: yes Caleb: Then why is her skin brown? Me: well her Daddys skin is brown. Poor Tara seemed mortified but it didn't bother me. I grew up in rural, small town Fergus and it is not very diverse. What I am happy about is that Layla will grow up is a different type of town. However that will bring a different set of issues I am sure. The funniest part is Laylas skin doesn't seem "brown" to me at all.
After my 5 days at home it was time to say goodbye. I was looking forward to getting home and having Layla back in her routine...but I was not looking forward to saying goodbye to my mom. I have the relationship I have always wanted with her. We laugh together, eat together and are able to talk to each other. I left her with tears streaming down my face. I bought a box of timbits...and cried all the way to Guelph. I love my life here but there are times I really want to move home. But you see if I reflect on the whole trip I realize that Layla and I have it pretty good here. I think moving from small town Fergus has opened my life up to something warmer and better. I just wish my mom came with me!
And really what if I need pickles at 11pm....everything closes at 8!
Once we arrived safely we had a great 5 days. We dressed Layla in her snow suit a couple of times and took her for a slay ride. I will admit we didn't go far because it was really cold for me! At first she didn't seem to care about it...just kinda sat there. But once we let her out of the sled she crawled around and that she seemed to like more. The second time she went out was a bit better but she is a southern girl at heart the snow suit is really just to much for her. I can't wait to take her home in the years to come and she can go slidding down all of the hills we used to as kids.
Uncle Corb also stopped by for the night...I think he wasn't quite sure what to do with her this time. She doesn't talk in words and can't walk yet so he seemed confused on how to interact with her. Although he did like to practise walking with her.
I went to Reem's wedding leaving Grammie and Papa(that was his name this trip...I guess we will have to see what Layla ends up calling him) to babysit. They were thrilled to have her all to them selves. Aunt Mandy was also down for the night and she used makeup and put on earrings. Jatovi still won't let them peirce her ears so they needed to improvise. Aunt Many took me when I was 6 months old so they are waiting to do Laylas.
On monday after noon we went to see Tara. After only being there about 2 minutes her 7 years old son Caleb said "Does she live with you" Me: yes Caleb: Then why is her skin brown? Me: well her Daddys skin is brown. Poor Tara seemed mortified but it didn't bother me. I grew up in rural, small town Fergus and it is not very diverse. What I am happy about is that Layla will grow up is a different type of town. However that will bring a different set of issues I am sure. The funniest part is Laylas skin doesn't seem "brown" to me at all.
After my 5 days at home it was time to say goodbye. I was looking forward to getting home and having Layla back in her routine...but I was not looking forward to saying goodbye to my mom. I have the relationship I have always wanted with her. We laugh together, eat together and are able to talk to each other. I left her with tears streaming down my face. I bought a box of timbits...and cried all the way to Guelph. I love my life here but there are times I really want to move home. But you see if I reflect on the whole trip I realize that Layla and I have it pretty good here. I think moving from small town Fergus has opened my life up to something warmer and better. I just wish my mom came with me!
And really what if I need pickles at 11pm....everything closes at 8!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
YMCA
After our class was cancelled for the second time we decided to try something different. Jatovi, Layla and I joined the YMCA! There seems to be many advantages for us in this. One being that Layla can go to the Y-playhouse while we exercise. This is giving her the chance to socialize and be around other kids and adults. One of my many pet peeves about other children are those annoying kids that aren't socialized so they cry and look for their parents every time you talk to them. Thankfully Layla is not one of these and has gone into the play room with a big smile on her face every time. The staff seem to love her and keep commenting on what a happy baby she is. The other advantage to this is she is "left with strangers" and we are 10 feet away! This makes the process better for us as well.
But the best part is swimming!! We took Layla in a big pool for the first time and she did great. Jatovi dunked her a couple of times, I thought it seemed a bit mean but she did ok. Hopefully this is a great start for many years of fun in the pool to come!
But the best part is swimming!! We took Layla in a big pool for the first time and she did great. Jatovi dunked her a couple of times, I thought it seemed a bit mean but she did ok. Hopefully this is a great start for many years of fun in the pool to come!
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