Daddy Issues

I have a Dad and I have a Father. Layla, your Grandpa is my Dad in every sense of the word expect for the sperm part:) I know an important part however what you do with the baby you create is for more important than being able to create a person. My biological father is just that...and only that. I spent time with him when I was very little but when I was 12 he signed papers that allowed your Grandpa Baker to adopt us and I have seen very little of him since.

I am now 35 and you would think I would have come to terms with this by now...but some days I still wonder. Having you has made that desire to understand how a father could have little to no contact with their child even stronger. I would jump in front of a car for you, I can't stand going 2 days without seeing you(when I work) you are by far the greatest thing to ever happen to me. So what makes some people able to walk away?

I always joke around saying "I have Daddy issues" but I guess I really do. I am a untrusting person because it was been my experience that once you get close to some one they leave. This of course started with the "father that didn't want me " situation. And still at 35 I feel this way, just ask your Dad. I tell Jatovi often that I am waiting for the day he will walk out and never look back.

Don't get me wrong people do walk away from their babies and it is the best decision they can ever make for that child. I think my life was so much better this way than the alternative for my parents still being together. I just wonder why Mike doesn't care?

I do miss my Grandparents soo much. Mike's parents were so good to me and the only Grandparents I really ever knew. I have major regrets with them and wish I had seen them more before they passed away, that is some thing I will always regret.

So Layla my promise to you is I will do everything I can to make sure you grow up loved and secure! There is nothing you could ever do that will make me leave you. Even if you make a decision I disagree with, I will love you!