Halloween

"Layla Bug" was a LadyBug for her first Halloween. After a start to the day by visiting with Grammie and Grandpa on Skype we had lunch in the park. No trick or treating this year but her outfit was still very cute. I had big plans for cute pictures in the leafs, however Layla really just wanted to eat them. So the pictures weren't as good as I had hoped but she is adorable none the less!

6 months

Wow I have a 6 month old daughter. She is not a baby anymore, sitting on her own, holding her own bottle and eating solid foods. Her stats: 18lbs 11.7oz which is 92%, 25 inches long 37%. So short and fat just her mom. The doctor had no concerns with her development and was impressed with her strength. The doctor did tell us that she did not need to eat during the night anymore. For awhile now the routine has been:
1800- Dinner, bath, bottle and bed by 1845
1200-bottle and back to sleep
0530-bottle and back to sleep
0900- up for the day and breakfast bottle
1000- morning nap
1100- lunch then play
1330- bottle and then nap
1600- snack bottle

But last night Layla must have heard the doctor because Layla SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!
That's right after 6 months and 2 days she did it. We were prepared to let her cry it out but there was no need big girl did it on her own. She woke up at 0530 for bottle and went right back to sleep so I think 11hours can be seen as sleeping through the night. I laid there from 0345 waiting for her to wake up crazy that you wait for it every night and then when it does happen you can't sleep. So we will see what tonight brings!
What I want to remember from month 6 is how Thankful I am for my beautiful daughter!

Dear Layla

Dear Layla


My beautiful baby Layla, you are 6 months old today. I want to write you and say Thank you! Thank you for all the ways you have changed my life. I am so lucky to have you. I was so worried that being a Mom would not be for me. But over the past 6 months I have realized that being your Mom is so much better than I could have ever imagined.


I have enjoyed watching your Dad with you. I have fallen in love with him all over again. He is kind, warm and gentle with everything he does. His love for you is so strong. He takes you everywhere with him, and is obsessed with buying you clothes. Yes that's right clothes....that he thinks fits you better. He really doesn't like anything to be tight, and just last night he came home with a bag of sleepers because he didn't want you to get cold feet at night. You just light up when ever he walks into the room. He is able to get you to laugh so loud and it is music to my ears. I have a feeling that your bond with your Dad will cause me some trouble when you are a teenager!


Ever since you were born people have said you look just like your Dad. But I do think you have my eyes. You also have my big toes! Not something I wanted you to get from me. Your Grandmother also has them and they are not my favorite feature...they stick up! Your hair is starting to grow, and I am hoping for thick big curls. But right now you just have a patch of hair at the back of your head that does curl when it's wet. Your skin tone is lighter than I thought it would be are you are a big girl. Big in the fact that you are wearing 9-12month clothes already. You have been wearing large sized clothes since you were 3months old. And if I do say so myself..you are the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen!



So Layla Katherine, thank you!

Thank you for giving me a reason to get up everyday

Thank you for teaching to be patient

Thank you for trying to teach me that I can't control everything

Thank you for making me laugh

Thank you for making me a better person

I love you so much and I can't wait to see what the next 6 months brings us,

Love Mom

Pumpkin Patch

A few weeks ago Jatovi and I went with Layla to a pumpkin patch. Layla still needed help with sitting and the pumpkins that were out were not in a place for great pictures. So we completed the corn maze with Layla on Jatovi's back in the carrier. Well with in minutes Layla was a sleep so Jatovi and I completed the maze and we were done for the day.

Now that our big girl is sitting on her own I thought I would try the pumpkin patch again. Today Grannie and I were off and we got a lot of great pictures.

Holding her own Bottle

One advantage to being a formula baby is I can hand her a bottle and walk away. It is great having the freedom to clean and do other things while see feeds her self!

Big Girl Sitting

We have been practising sitting now for a few weeks and I think she has gotten it! For the past few weeks we started at sitting for a few seconds before falling up to now a few minutes. So proud...now for crawling!

Done

So it looks like I am completely done with breastfeeding. I am shocked at just how upset I am about this. It appears that Layla's "nursing strike" was really her way of telling me she was starving. After I gave in and gave her a bottle thinking that was what she wanted it was clear I wasn't producing milk anymore. I was prepared for pain, engorgement something. But nope I just stopped and felt nothing. I am disappointed that I didn't quite make it to 6 months(10days short) and I was considering continuing past 6 months.

I am not sure if I am just upset by it because I didn't get to choose to stop or if it is the fact that when I saw her holding her own bottle I realized how grown up she is. But I either way I am sad that it is over!

But since it is over I am trying to see the positive...hand her a bottle and walk way, Jatovi getting up to feed her during the night. There are some advantages and they are good ones.

I have been making my own baby food! And she seems to enjoy my cooking!(at least for now)

Lets try this Again!

So after a very long nap yesterday Layla woke up and seemed to feel fine. However her decision was clearly not made. She nursed but only have the time she needed to and refused to take a bottle of formula and breast milk mixed. Her face said it all... it tasted gross to her. So after wasting several ounces of breast milk she went to bed after eating very little. She had a dry diaper last night so I was of course getting concerned.

So today we started off with 1.5oz of formula and the rest breast milk...and she drank it all. The first couple of sucks she made a face and I wasn't sure she would take it, but she did. She ate her lunch and afternoon bottle(almost half and half this time) with out any issues. And back to her small spit ups as usual. So it looks like we are on the road to eating well from a bottle! Now I need to stop my body from producing breast milk. I have however decided that her"nursing strike" may have been her way of telling me I didn't have enough milk anymore. Because it is now very clear my supply was low.

Please Pick One

Everything I have read says that babies before a year don't self wean. They may however go on a nursing strike. I guess this is what Layla is doing. Last week I worked 3 of 4 days and on my first day off she would not nurse. She nursed fine at night but it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon before she would eat. She was crying, mad and was making it very clear that she did not want to breastfeed. I stuck it out and while I was off for the next 4 days we got our routine down again. Well this week it started again and I just don't think I can keep doing this. I never thought I would nurse this long...and I really never thought I would nurse past 6 months. Well she is 6 months next week. So I guess I will have made it to my goal since I have to wean slowly so I don't end up in pain.
I have have mixed emotions about this new chapter in our lives. I have feelings that I was sure I would never have. "Mothers guilt" over using formula. I could not believe mothers felt bad about formula. We feed it to the babies at work everyday and they do just fine, I was a formula kid, I am just fine. So when I listened to mothers before I thought they were crazy. Well when I gave her her first 2 oz of formula this morning...I felt the guilt!
Layla has not helped me with this feeling. She then went on the refuse to nurse(expected), eat her lunch (carrots and oatmeal) and then puke it all back up! Layla has been sick with every meal...we are use to that. But this was different, gaging, crying, and many times over. I am sure there was not a drop of her food left in her. She then feel asleep in my arms. I was freaked! Was she sick, was it the formula? I have no idea. I made a quick appointment with the doctor to then call my mom and she talked me into cancelling it. At this time Layla was lying on my bed smiling and talking...acting perfectly healthy.
I put her down for a nap and I will see what happens when she wakes up.

Dear Layla,
Please pick one...Breast or Bottle! I am very stressed out over this. You need to eat and at this point I don't care which one...just pick one and feel better. I love you so much and can't stand to see you like this. It broke my heart to see you sick. I will breast feed forever if that's what you want(maybe not forever..but until you have teeth) as long as you don't feel sick.
So when you wake up from your nap please be feeling better and have made your choice.

Love You Always,
Mom