Wow this sucks!

So I am 31 weeks and the last 2 weeks have been the hardest! I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 29 weeks and it has been down hill since then.
It all started with me being sent to a cardiologist d/t tachycardia. I wasn't all that concerned because I have been through this before. I have been off my medication for almost 4 years with my heart rate not causing to much problems. But during my pregnancy I have been having severe palpation's and increased HR. The cardiologist is worried about starting me back on meds while pregnant, because they will effect her heart as well. His plan was to run a ton of test and monitor me and hope to get me through the pregnancy without meds, if that is done see what my heart rate does after. He hopes when my blood volume decrease again so will my HR.
This was all fine with me, exec pt he did mention that delivery at DRH, or vaginally may not be possible. Although I don't really care about either it just bothered me that things are being left up in the air. I am a planner and the wait and see method doesn't work well for me.
Two days later I got a call..while I was at work that my blood sugar was so high at my 1 hr test that they have diagnosed me gestational diabetes. Without even doing the 3 hr test, my level was 224 and it should have been less than 140. Well I fell apart, a lot of it was because they had taken 6 days to call me after the test. I had figured by this point that things were fine, and they clearly weren't! Then they tell me I have to wait another 6 days before I can go to my teaching and and get my monitor. Well I was already stressed because of the heart issue and now this.
SO overall I feel like a failure of a mother already. I can't even get through my pregnancy without possibly harming her. AS I have mentioned before I wasn't even sure I wanted this, but once the decision was made this became the most important thing in my life, producing a healthy child. With the reality check that it may not come as easy as I thought, because the first 29 weeks was so good, I feel overwhelmed. I am tired of people telling me not to worry, saying that everything will be ok, and just down right down playing what is happening. I get that things may be ok, and that other than me eating a lot of disgusting meat everything will work out and after the pregnancy go back to normal. But I would not be human or a good mother if I didn't worry. SO to hell with you all, I will worry if I want.