That is right I am pregnant! I don't know why I was so surprised .....we were "trying" weren't we? After the first couple of months of "trying" I/we decided to stop "trying" so hard. Not look at calendars and such. As I have mentioned a time or two I am fine with one anyways. Layla still has her trying times and that makes deciding to go ahead and have another a hard decision. So we will see what happens and come spring if no baby I will start selling stuff!
I had what I thought was a bad cases of PMS this week. Saturday I was so tired, I took a two hour nap and still went to bed early. I just could not shake the fatigue. Yesterday (Sunday) I worked a pretty boring day at work and came home to an empty house. Layla and Jatovi were a this parents house. So I thought I might just a take a test since I had some and it was a couple of days before my period was due. And sure enough...two lines. So I took another one, just to be sure. And two lines again. Really the first month of not trying? So I sat by myself and tried to shake the terrible fear I was having. The fear the first time was of the unknown, this time it is of the known. Gestational diabetes, repeat c-section, crying....all of the crying. The money, no sleep, and did I mention the crying. Please let this baby be a happier baby than Lay was.
Jatovi and Layla came home, and I gave Layla the test and told her to take it to her Daddy and tell him how many lines she saw. It was cute Layla ran to him yelling "there are two lines Daddy!"
As usual Jatovi was very calm. But he said he was very happy.
Things seem a little different this time. I couldn't even bring myself to call the doctors today. Partially because that makes it real, and second I don't know which doctor to call. Last time I wanted to stay as far away from Duke as possible. I did NOT want to delivery there. I did not want to know anyone and I didn't want them to know me. How ever this time I feel that Duke may be the better option. And the fact that I am having that feeling tell me to trust my gut. Not sure if it is just that I am 3 years older, or that I know I will be a gestational diabetic this time. I am a believer in following your gut, so I may have to deliver at Duke. Which means moving to a new medical practice. Anyways just the beginning!! We have also not told anyone yet, except for Layla which of course doesn't count since she thinks all women have babies in their belly's.
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