Layla is 1 month old, and I can't believe it. I love her more and more everyday. She is 20.5inches long and 8.2lbs. She no longer fits into new born clothes, well not easily anyways. She is very long and her toes would be crunched up at the end. She is perfect, beautiful in every way. I am not kidding myself and think everyone thinks she is perfect though. Since I am a tad older than my friends with having a child I have had several years of thinking"when I am a mom I won't do that" and one of those things is expect everyone to think my child is perfect and beautiful. I can't stand mothers like that. A mother is suppose to think that about their own child, but no one else has to think that. I have several friends that I think have really ugly children...but I am sure their mothers don't see it.
Layla is an OK baby, again I don't think she behaves perfectly. She cries at night between 11-12 or 1 a couple of times a week. During the day she sleeps looks around and eats. But I am lucky Jatovi is a fantastic dad he has all the patients in the world with her. They have their time at night together. I go to bed and he stays up with her. I think he looks forward to it, I think he likes feeling like he is making her feel better. And he does as soon as I go up to bed I hear her calming down. I am breastfeeding....and I hate it! But I feel as a mother it is my responsibility to at least try to breastfeed her. It is the natural food for her and best for her. If I can do at least 3 months I will be happy. My goal of course is the recommended 6 months. Other than the first week of nipple pain, it has gone well. She latches well and I have a good supply. I just really like to sleep and wish Jatovi could do the 3am feeds! But for now I will be happy with the knowledge I am doing the best thing I can for Layla.
My only frustration is that she doesn't really like her swing. She cries as soon as you put her in it, even before it is on. She will sit in her bouncy seat for a little while. The only thing other than being held that she likes is her boppy pillow. I won't let anyone hold her for long periods and she doesn't sleep in our bed(other than when I dowse off during feeds). I have managed to keep these rules up. Even during the week that Grammy stayed with us. My mom spent 2 weeks here, 1 week without my dad. It was a great week. I feel so much closer to my Mom after that week. She was such a great help, but really I just enjoyed having her to myself. I don't remember anytime it was just the 2 of us, my dad is always there.I will treasure that week for ever. Layla is lucky to have grandparents that love her so much.
The thing I wish I would remember for ever is how much I love watching Jatovi with her. I fell in love with him all over again. He is kind, gentle and patient with her. I find him sitting and watching her sleep. It takes him like 20min to change a diaper, and he always asks me to swaddle her because he doesn't think he can do it right. He "steals"my breast milk from the fridge because I think he loves feeding her...she can't be that hungry all the time when I am sleeping! He holds her like she is made of porcelain and he is going to break her any minute. But I wouldn't change a thing! I sure made the right choice of fathers for her,they are going to have a great relationship.
As for me, it still doesn't seem real to me. I have often thought "she is going to be with me the rest of my life" My love for her is stronger and stronger everyday. If I am out and call and she is crying it breaks my heart. My favorite thing about her is the look she gets after I have upset her. After a bath, or something she deems terrible while I nurse her she has this look in her eyes that says"how could you do that to me, I thought you loved me" It breaks my heart and puts a smile on my face at the same time! It is such a cute look.
I can't wait to see her smile...on purpose!
Layla is an OK baby, again I don't think she behaves perfectly. She cries at night between 11-12 or 1 a couple of times a week. During the day she sleeps looks around and eats. But I am lucky Jatovi is a fantastic dad he has all the patients in the world with her. They have their time at night together. I go to bed and he stays up with her. I think he looks forward to it, I think he likes feeling like he is making her feel better. And he does as soon as I go up to bed I hear her calming down. I am breastfeeding....and I hate it! But I feel as a mother it is my responsibility to at least try to breastfeed her. It is the natural food for her and best for her. If I can do at least 3 months I will be happy. My goal of course is the recommended 6 months. Other than the first week of nipple pain, it has gone well. She latches well and I have a good supply. I just really like to sleep and wish Jatovi could do the 3am feeds! But for now I will be happy with the knowledge I am doing the best thing I can for Layla.
My only frustration is that she doesn't really like her swing. She cries as soon as you put her in it, even before it is on. She will sit in her bouncy seat for a little while. The only thing other than being held that she likes is her boppy pillow. I won't let anyone hold her for long periods and she doesn't sleep in our bed(other than when I dowse off during feeds). I have managed to keep these rules up. Even during the week that Grammy stayed with us. My mom spent 2 weeks here, 1 week without my dad. It was a great week. I feel so much closer to my Mom after that week. She was such a great help, but really I just enjoyed having her to myself. I don't remember anytime it was just the 2 of us, my dad is always there.I will treasure that week for ever. Layla is lucky to have grandparents that love her so much.
The thing I wish I would remember for ever is how much I love watching Jatovi with her. I fell in love with him all over again. He is kind, gentle and patient with her. I find him sitting and watching her sleep. It takes him like 20min to change a diaper, and he always asks me to swaddle her because he doesn't think he can do it right. He "steals"my breast milk from the fridge because I think he loves feeding her...she can't be that hungry all the time when I am sleeping! He holds her like she is made of porcelain and he is going to break her any minute. But I wouldn't change a thing! I sure made the right choice of fathers for her,they are going to have a great relationship.
As for me, it still doesn't seem real to me. I have often thought "she is going to be with me the rest of my life" My love for her is stronger and stronger everyday. If I am out and call and she is crying it breaks my heart. My favorite thing about her is the look she gets after I have upset her. After a bath, or something she deems terrible while I nurse her she has this look in her eyes that says"how could you do that to me, I thought you loved me" It breaks my heart and puts a smile on my face at the same time! It is such a cute look.
I can't wait to see her smile...on purpose!
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