I went to the doctors last Friday and he started me on Glyburide 2.5mg twice a day. I thought I would be devastated but I wasn't. The day before I have gone to my follow up with the dietitian and she made me feel guilty about the fact I wasn't eating enough carbs! I feel like I can't win.So in order to eat even half of what she wanted me to my sugar would go through the roof. I we made a deal and I would eat 2 carbs at each meal until I went to the doctors the next day...I did and my numbers were all too high. Since starting on the meds the numbers have been great. All well below goal. I have been staring to eat more carbs and it hasn't raised my numbers yet. I did tell the doctor that I would not mind having her now...I feel like I could take care of her better outside of me rather than what I am doing to her while she is inside of me. I do know that it is too early and she needs to stay inside for at least 4 more weeks(that would have her 37 weeks) but I feel so bad every time I eat something and then get a high number. I have heard about "Mothers Quilt" and I do get it now. What I don't get is why some women do crack and not worry and I end up in tear if I eat melon? So I have let the quilt go about taking a medication during pregnancy and have excepted that it is better for her to have the meds and not the extra sugar at this time.
I have an u/s on Wednesday. They are going to do a weight check and look at my fluid level. They of course are doing this because of her increased risk of being large. I have seen weight scans be off many times but it will be nice to have an idea. The books say at 33 weeks she should be a little over 4lbs, I think we are way ahead of that.I am also happy to get to see what position she is in. The hard bump I get at the top of my uterus in the middle has to be her bum, but I just can't tell where everything else is.My guess is she is facing my back.That would explain the big bump that sticks out and nothing else. I hope she turns again because if this is were see stays I may be in for back labour!
We ordered her nursery chair last night, and plan to do the last few things this weekend. We cancelled our child birthing class....there is the quilt again! I just don't feel like spending 2 full days sitting listeneing to it.I have better things to do like sleep, go to a movie and hang with Jatovi. It will be our last full weekend together just the 2 of us EVER! So we aren't going to the class, we are just going to enjoy the freedom while we can!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
32 weeks
I have been taking my blood sugars for over 3 weeks now and it is not getting any easier. The doctors keep saying we will watch the numbers for another week and see. This is because my fasting sugars are all over the goal of 95. The highest being 111, the rest between 95 and 109. During the day I can generally keep the numbers below the goal of 120 with out too much trouble. I can't eat anything sweet which includes fruit. I thought I would miss chocolate the most...and I do miss chocolate but I am struggling with honey dew melon the most!! Weird since I don't even like it! The last month I have wanted it with every meal. I can some times have it with lunch, but only a few pieces of my sugar goes straight up. The rest of my meals are just planned out protein meals. I have eaten more eggs than in the last couple of years combined. This has been an eye opener for me. I have a 60% chance of having type 2 diabetes later in life(not really surprising since my grandparents had it) but this does show me that I need to do what I can to avoid it at all cost! Hopefully I don't forget how terrible this is and go back to my old habits. I have had good will power(for me anyways) because I DO NOT want a big baby!!!! See probably won't be 6 pounds but I am trying to avoid a 10 pound er. I did give in and go for Mexican last night, I ate about a quarter of the chips I would normally have and the rest was chicken and cheese...sugar after 130! Way to high.So this was depressing. I hope I can figure it out so they are all within normal range soon or I will be going on meds!
As for Layla, see seems great. At my last appoint I am measuring 2 weeks ahead. So her weight gain has begun. This is what I was afraid of but since I am doing everything I know to do the rest isn't up to me. At my 30 week appointment she was breech, but I think she has turned. I still may have a c/s, and I am fine with this. My birth plan is get her out the safest way with me feeling the least amount of pain possible. So a c/s works. This means if she is large I don't have to worry about the head being delivered and her shoulder getting stuck, or any of the other million things that can go wrong with having a large baby. Jatovi isn't so sure a vag delivery isn't better, but lets face it this is my body! She moves all around but the movements have changed. They aren't strong kicks any more they are "pressure" from her large body trying to move. Her room is almost ready to go. Just a few things left to do like buy her chair, wash her clothes and put the car seats in. But we do have like a good 6 weeks to go. Plenty of time!
As for Layla, see seems great. At my last appoint I am measuring 2 weeks ahead. So her weight gain has begun. This is what I was afraid of but since I am doing everything I know to do the rest isn't up to me. At my 30 week appointment she was breech, but I think she has turned. I still may have a c/s, and I am fine with this. My birth plan is get her out the safest way with me feeling the least amount of pain possible. So a c/s works. This means if she is large I don't have to worry about the head being delivered and her shoulder getting stuck, or any of the other million things that can go wrong with having a large baby. Jatovi isn't so sure a vag delivery isn't better, but lets face it this is my body! She moves all around but the movements have changed. They aren't strong kicks any more they are "pressure" from her large body trying to move. Her room is almost ready to go. Just a few things left to do like buy her chair, wash her clothes and put the car seats in. But we do have like a good 6 weeks to go. Plenty of time!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Wow this sucks!
So I am 31 weeks and the last 2 weeks have been the hardest! I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 29 weeks and it has been down hill since then.
It all started with me being sent to a cardiologist d/t tachycardia. I wasn't all that concerned because I have been through this before. I have been off my medication for almost 4 years with my heart rate not causing to much problems. But during my pregnancy I have been having severe palpation's and increased HR. The cardiologist is worried about starting me back on meds while pregnant, because they will effect her heart as well. His plan was to run a ton of test and monitor me and hope to get me through the pregnancy without meds, if that is done see what my heart rate does after. He hopes when my blood volume decrease again so will my HR.
This was all fine with me, exec pt he did mention that delivery at DRH, or vaginally may not be possible. Although I don't really care about either it just bothered me that things are being left up in the air. I am a planner and the wait and see method doesn't work well for me.
Two days later I got a call..while I was at work that my blood sugar was so high at my 1 hr test that they have diagnosed me gestational diabetes. Without even doing the 3 hr test, my level was 224 and it should have been less than 140. Well I fell apart, a lot of it was because they had taken 6 days to call me after the test. I had figured by this point that things were fine, and they clearly weren't! Then they tell me I have to wait another 6 days before I can go to my teaching and and get my monitor. Well I was already stressed because of the heart issue and now this.
SO overall I feel like a failure of a mother already. I can't even get through my pregnancy without possibly harming her. AS I have mentioned before I wasn't even sure I wanted this, but once the decision was made this became the most important thing in my life, producing a healthy child. With the reality check that it may not come as easy as I thought, because the first 29 weeks was so good, I feel overwhelmed. I am tired of people telling me not to worry, saying that everything will be ok, and just down right down playing what is happening. I get that things may be ok, and that other than me eating a lot of disgusting meat everything will work out and after the pregnancy go back to normal. But I would not be human or a good mother if I didn't worry. SO to hell with you all, I will worry if I want.
It all started with me being sent to a cardiologist d/t tachycardia. I wasn't all that concerned because I have been through this before. I have been off my medication for almost 4 years with my heart rate not causing to much problems. But during my pregnancy I have been having severe palpation's and increased HR. The cardiologist is worried about starting me back on meds while pregnant, because they will effect her heart as well. His plan was to run a ton of test and monitor me and hope to get me through the pregnancy without meds, if that is done see what my heart rate does after. He hopes when my blood volume decrease again so will my HR.
This was all fine with me, exec pt he did mention that delivery at DRH, or vaginally may not be possible. Although I don't really care about either it just bothered me that things are being left up in the air. I am a planner and the wait and see method doesn't work well for me.
Two days later I got a call..while I was at work that my blood sugar was so high at my 1 hr test that they have diagnosed me gestational diabetes. Without even doing the 3 hr test, my level was 224 and it should have been less than 140. Well I fell apart, a lot of it was because they had taken 6 days to call me after the test. I had figured by this point that things were fine, and they clearly weren't! Then they tell me I have to wait another 6 days before I can go to my teaching and and get my monitor. Well I was already stressed because of the heart issue and now this.
SO overall I feel like a failure of a mother already. I can't even get through my pregnancy without possibly harming her. AS I have mentioned before I wasn't even sure I wanted this, but once the decision was made this became the most important thing in my life, producing a healthy child. With the reality check that it may not come as easy as I thought, because the first 29 weeks was so good, I feel overwhelmed. I am tired of people telling me not to worry, saying that everything will be ok, and just down right down playing what is happening. I get that things may be ok, and that other than me eating a lot of disgusting meat everything will work out and after the pregnancy go back to normal. But I would not be human or a good mother if I didn't worry. SO to hell with you all, I will worry if I want.
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